The Wedding Planning Secret No One Talks About: Starting Before the Ring
In a world filled with grand proposals, diamond ring selfies, and choreographed "she said yes!" videos, many couples are quietly doing something that isn’t often shared: they’re planning their weddings before getting officially engaged. This isn’t a matter of jumping the gun or behaving oddly; it’s a smart strategy. In today’s wedding landscape, it’s becoming the norm for good reason. If you find yourself secretly searching for venues while waiting for the ring, you're not alone.
Many couples are touring venues, building budgets, and creating mood boards beforehand. They are doing their homework and getting a head start, then celebrating the proposal when they’re ready. This shift is happening for various reasons, and it can significantly impact your planning journey. As a wedding planner, I am seeing this trend more frequently, and I am here to explain the reasons behind it and provide you with the tools you need to take control of your timeline.
Why Is This Happening?
1. Venues Book Up Fast
Post-pandemic backlog and high demand mean many top venues are booked 12–24 months in advance. By the time you’re officially engaged, your dream date and venue may already be gone. Early planning helps couples secure what they want before someone else does. Planning early = access to better days, better venues, and less competition.
2. Budgeting Takes Time and Research
Weddings often cost more than people expect. Once couples begin their research, they quickly realize how complex and varied the pricing can be. Venue costs can range from $5,000 to $50,000. Additionally, expenses for planners, photographers, and floral arrangements are not one-size-fits-all. Planning early allows you to compare prices, make informed decisions, and start saving without feeling pressured. This proactive approach is much better than panicking after getting engaged and discovering that your dream vendor is out of your budget and unavailable.
3. Not Everyone Has the Same Vision
Pinterest, TikTok, and Instagram are excellent sources of wedding inspiration, but they shouldn't serve as your definitive wedding blueprint. Creating mood boards and inspiration decks, along with having initial planning discussions, can help couples align their visions. It’s beneficial to plan before the engagement ring is given, as this allows both partners to be on the same page without the pressure of time constraints.
4. It’s About Intentionality, Not Impulsiveness
The belief that planning should begin only after the proposal is outdated. Today's couples are more intentional; they want to be prepared rather than reactive. They prioritize communication and clarity over tradition. This approach makes wedding planning not only more empowering but also less overwhelming.
5. Couples Want to Be on the Same Page
Not everyone envisions a wedding with 200 guests in a grand ballroom. Some couples prefer a micro wedding on a mountaintop, while others opt for a courthouse elopement followed by a backyard BBQ. Pre-engagement planning allows couples to explore their preferences together before emotions and external opinions come into play after the proposal.
5 Pro Tips for Planning Pre-Engagement
Tip #1: Start With a Real Budget
Before the Pinterest board takes over, set a realistic budget. Know your max spend. Research average costs in your area. Prioritize what matters most.
Pro tip: Venue + catering often eats up 40–50% of your total. Know that number early.
Tip #2: Build a Shared Vision Board
Utilize Canva or Pinterest for inspiration. Save visuals, jot down notes, and discuss what you both desire. This approach ensures you're grounded and aligned, rather than pursuing trends that don't match your style.
Tip #3: Tour Venues Ahead of Time
You don’t need to book yet, but you can visit. Ask questions and see what’s realistic. Top venues often book 12 to 24 months in advance. If you wait until you’re engaged to plan, your ideal date may already be taken.
Tip #4: Create a Shortlist of Vendors
Follow the accounts of venues or vendors that interest you, save their posts, and read customer reviews. By the time you're ready to book, you'll have gathered valuable insights, making the process smoother.
Tip #5: Understand the Fine Print
Before making any commitments, it’s essential to thoroughly understand the cancellation policies, payment terms, and rescheduling rules associated with your agreement. Being well-informed = being empowered.
Why This Trend Matters
Couples aren’t planning early because they’re impatient. They’re doing it because it works.
They get better vendors.
They spend more wisely.
They stay more aligned and less stressed.
Planning ahead isn’t weird. It’s wise.
Final Word: Planning First Doesn’t Ruin the Magic
Your engagement can be romantic, spontaneous, and unforgettable. But imagine this: you say yes and already know how the day will unfold. That’s not unromantic; it’s brilliant. If you're already thinking about your wedding day, even before the ring has arrived, I’m here to help you get started. Let’s create your wedding roadmap before the chaos begins.
Top 5 Takeaways:
Venues and vendors book fast—get a head start.
Research-based budgets are less stressful.
Shared vision = smoother decisions.
Shortlisting vendors early saves time.
Understanding contracts upfront avoids issues later.
Planning before the proposal isn’t a secret anymore. It’s a strategy. And I’m here to make it work for you.
📞 Call to Action
Thinking about wedding planning but not engaged yet? That’s exactly my zone. As a wedding planner, I work with couples at every stage even pre-engagement. Whether you want help finding venues, understanding budgets, or just organizing your thoughts, I’ve got you.
Book a complimentary consultation today
Let’s build your wedding blueprint—ring or no ring (yet).
📅 Schedule a Free Consultation: https://hello.dubsado.com:443/public/appointment-scheduler/65a2e5c41ad6a5003ad74d09/schedule
📲 Follow @myluvhweddingandevents for tips, inspiration, and planning advice.
